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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 10, 2009 17:49:44 GMT 1
Marian knew they needed time, but she also knew that they might be a while. After all, men took a while to discuss how they felt, it took a while to drag it out of them. She kept walking, sure she could hear the sound of running water close by, comforted that her dagger was close to her, just in case she had to use it.
Finally, she came to the stream, which stopped at some form of lake. Smiling, she inspected the lake, checking it wasn't too dirty or anything, but it looked crystal other than a few leaves floating on the surface. Now of course, came the problem of bathing out in the open. She had her underthings, of course, as well as her underdress, so she supposed she would just bathe in them. It would at least clear out the wound, and she would be able to clean out any mud on her legs from lying on the forest floor.
Glancing around again, she checked that the coast was clear, before untying her dress and hanging it up on a branch near by. No point in getting it any more dirty, she thought, before stepping into the water. It was cold, of course, but not too cold that she would be shivering. Stepping in until it was just above thigh level, soaking the bottom of her underdess, she began cupping the water and clearing out the wound, hissing a little when it stung the first time.
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 10, 2009 18:02:26 GMT 1
Robin went looking for Marian hoping he might get something more than ridicule from her for his actions. He wanted, no, he needed support at the moment.
Will's words had shaken him. He needed confirmation that the view Will had expressed was not shared by all. Had he been mistaken this whole time? He might be good at portraying an astounding level of confidence, but inside he often felt the intolerable weight of responsibility and the decisions he was forced to make.
Reaching the edge of the stream, Robin's thoughts came to an abrupt halt, seeing Marian in the water. Seeing that she was washing the wound that he had once again aggravated, Robin looked away in guilt, before his eyes unconsciously strayed back to her largely exposed form. She really was beautiful.
"Marian. I need to speak with you." Of course, Robin gave little regard to the fact that she might not at this moment enjoy his company. Again, it showed the different ways they viewed things. In Robin's mind, it was simple. He needed to speak with her, and there she was.
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 10, 2009 18:07:07 GMT 1
Marian was brought out her thoughts as she cleaned up when she heard Robin's voice. Instantly freezing, she glanced up, her hands falling to the side and the water she had cupped in her hand soaking some of her dress as it fell.
"Robin you scared me."
She began to feel self concious, fighting with the temptation to quickly cover herself up, but he looked so serious. Clearly something had happened whilst he had talked with Will, something that had upset him. And as much as she didn't appreciate her privacy being invaded, she couldn't turn him away.
"About?"
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 10, 2009 18:16:59 GMT 1
"I did not mean to startle you, Marian."
Walking over to the branch where she had hung her dress, Robin made a wordless gesture, seeing if she wished him to pass it to her, if she did indeed intend to leave the water. Restless as he was, Robin did not wait for a response. He began pacing beside the stream where she was, his thumbnail finding its way to his mouth as he contemplated his words, a nervous habit he did not seem able to break.
"Do you find truth in what Will says, Marian? Do they all see me as dismissing those things they think I consider 'unimportant'?"
He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing,
"Have I not done enough yet to show them my loyalty to them? What do they possibly expect from me? I fight for the people, Marian. I gave up my home, my title, everything. What more can I possibly give?"
Taking a breath and bringing an end to his rapid succession of questions, Robin continued to pace anxiously in front of Marian, awaiting her response.
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 10, 2009 18:27:28 GMT 1
Marian kept her eye on him, noting that he offered to hand her the dress. Checking her wound, she quickly washed any remainder of the wound, before looking back up at him. He really did seem confused, as if he thought things were fine. And to be honest, she knew he had a reason. He had given up so much, he currently would have been a noble, going by the Sheriff's orders, had he not given up his title.
"Everyone understands your loyalty, Robin, but perhaps your men want to see more loyalty to them?"
Realising what she said, and how it sounded, she stepped out the water, walking straight up to him, too focussed on him to be embarrassed. Cupping his cheek, she looked directly into his eyes.
"Robin you focus so much on the King, and England. I know how much you care for your men, but I have seen you command them sometimes as if you are in the Holy Land. Perhaps they need to see that you appreciate them." she glanced down, the subject hurting her slightly. She understood how it felt to think that Robin's loyalty lay elsewhere, not so much with her.
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 11, 2009 1:14:23 GMT 1
Robin looked even more bewildered by her words, and slightly angry, too.
"I do not see what more I can possibly do to show that I am loyal to them, Marian."
When she put his hand to her cheek, coupled with her blunt words, Robin felt awkward and uncomfortable, not at all comforted. Stepping back, he looked at her, his expression hurt.
"And if we are to do everything that needs to be done, do the men not need to be led? I lead them so we have direction, Marian. I make the tough decisions that they themselves are unable to make."
He had expected more from her, somehow. Did their love count for nothing? "And do not talk of the Holy Land so casually, as if you know of what you speak. You were not there, Marian. I lead these men as any might. I keep them together and my devotion is questioned? What more possible appreciation could I show, than keeping us strong, together, in the face of so much?"
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 11, 2009 15:01:14 GMT 1
Marian sighed when he stepped back, knowing this action far too much. Whenever things got too intimate when he was upset, he didn't like it. He didn't like the possibility that she could look him straight in the eye. She kept listening to him, ignore the chill running through her as the breeze started up, not choosing to put her dress on. After all, she wanted him to know he had her full attention.
"Robin, you forget how it felt for us as well," she looked at the ground, not wanting to look him in the eye. "I understand that you saw many horrors whilst in the Holy Land, and I am so sorry you had to see them. But you left us, and it felt like we meant...nothing to you for that amount of time. Imagine how Will feels, you were his Lord. And you left and Guy took over."
She sighed, reaching forward to take his hand, holding it tightly. She was leaving herself vulnerable, after all she never told him how it had hurt her when he left, and if she knew the pain she knew that those in Locksley also felt it.
"They love you, Robin. You protect them and you are their friend," she swallowed, tears coming to her eyes as she knew it was her fear too. "But there's always the fear that if the King calls, you'll leave again."
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 11, 2009 15:16:57 GMT 1
Robin could see the wisdom in a lot of what she said. And yet, here she was, continuing to mention things that she did not have any knowledge of. It infuriated him.
"Understand, Marian? Horrors? You know nothing of it. They know nothing of it. Am I to be judged for fighting to protect the man who may yet save us all?"
When she took his hand, Robin felt guilt wash over him at his words. "I am their friend? Marian, from your words right now I feel very much as if they consider me their enemy."
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 11, 2009 23:38:18 GMT 1
Marian hated it when he clearly got angry at her. After all, it wasn't her fault that he refused to divulge any of his thoughts, anything that had happened to him.
"I do not understand fully because you refuse to talk to me! No matter how much you talk, you do not say a word of what you truly think, of what has happened to you. How do you expect me to understand fully when you wont let me in!"
Marian took a deep breath, trying to calm her anger. She had been holding on to such thoughts for so long, and it hurt to hear him accuse her of not knowing when it wasn't her fault.
"They do not think of you as their enemy, Robin. But you keep so much hidden, it is hard sometimes to see where your mind lies. It can be very worrying, wondering what is going on in your head, what choices you are making. You are a powerful man, Robin. These men, the people of Nottingham, they turn to you no matter what. You are loved by so many. Yet, sometimes it is not possible to tell your own response to them. You hide so much. And it can be hard to trust in a leader who keeps so much to himself that you wonder exactly what route he will take next."
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 12, 2009 15:52:06 GMT 1
For all that he spoke of enjoying it when she looked at him in anger, Robin did not enjoy knowing she was upset or angry, not when it was a serious matter. And yet, she was asking him for things he simply could not give.
"I do not understand, Marian, how speaking of such things will help them, help you, know how I think. Is it simply curiosity? Do you crave horrific stories? Tales of sickening violence and needless death?"
Robin looked down at his hands, sure that one time when he did he would still see the blood on them.
"If you think I should share with them my plans, my ideas, more often, perhaps that I can understand. As for the other, Marian? Do not ask me for that. I will not tell you. I can not tell you."
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 12, 2009 16:12:04 GMT 1
"I crave for you to feel that you do not have to hold back anything from me! I realise how much the events of the Holy Land must have upset you, I just wish that you felt you could speak to me. Clearly I am wishing for the impossible."
She followed his gaze as he looked at his hands, wondering exactly what he was thinking. He kept up so many barriers, she always wondered exactly what was the truth and what was his protection. Was how he acted around her all a lie? Did he not want her there other than as a way to get back at Guy? She doubted that so much, but a part of her worried that even she was just a weapon.
"Thank you Robin. I know you are very set in your ways, but perhaps this subtle change will be all you need."
Marian felt the breeze against her damp skin again, causing her to shiver. But she did not want to back away from him, not now that he was finally seeing sense. She did not want to risk anything.
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 12, 2009 16:31:35 GMT 1
Seeing her shiver, Robin stepped forward, instinctively pulling her into his arms. Holding her against his chest as he was, he was able to avoid looking into her eyes as he spoke.
"I do not wish to keep things from you, Marian. Honestly? Sometimes I wish I could share those things with you, and yet..."
He trailed off, unsure how to continue. Sighing, he bit his lip before speaking again, in a quieter voice.
"Marian, I was a different person whilst I was there, fighting. I did things, unspeakable things, and I am not proud of them. I do not wish you to know of them for I fear if I tell you what happened, what I saw, but most importantly of the acts I committed, you would never look at me in the same way again. I love you, Marian, and I trust you. I do not want things to change between us."
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 12, 2009 16:41:02 GMT 1
Marian wrapped her arms around him tightly, deciding she didn't mind so much that this would seem inappropriate. After all, she wasn't in a place that would easily codemn her for such actions, especially with the lack of barriers between them.
She listened carefully as he spoke, and her heart broke. He honestly believed that her opinion of him would change if he told her of the things he had to do in the Holy Land. She understood that he was likely to have killed a hundred times over, and whilst she did not agree, she knew he had no choice. He was doing what he thought was right.
Then he said something she thought she would never here. Stilling for a moment as she thought over what he said, she wondered if he meant to tell her. Pulling back a little, staying in his arms as much as she could whilst looking at him, she couldn't stop the smile spreading on her face.
"Did you just say..."
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Post by Robin Hood on Jul 12, 2009 16:48:26 GMT 1
Looking confused for a moment, Robin then caught on to what she meant. Shocked, Robin realised he had said it.
"I guess I did. Suppose that means it's true, doesn't it?" In a way only Robin could, he winked at her, attempting to lighten such a serious moment, feeling awkward as he was.
Robin looked at her, thoughtfully, for a moment. She gave him so much, did so much for him, and what did he give her in return?
"What if I make you a deal, Marian? I will give you one question. One question I will answer. You can make it anything, and I will be as honest as I am able. You have, after all, consented to live in the forest with me. I owe you something in return."
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Post by Marian Fitzwalter on Jul 12, 2009 17:11:13 GMT 1
Marian couldn't help the grin as he confirmed what he had said, the temptation to pull him close to her was far too much. She thought she would have to wait a lifetime to hear those words from him, after all even when they were betrothed he rarely went into his feelings for her. Yes, it was obvious they cared for one another, but not once had either of them mentioned the word love.
"You do not owe me anything, Robin," she told him with a smile.
Then again, this was her chance. Her chance to ask him anything she wanted, but she knew full well he was talking about the Holy Land. However, he did not specify that, and found it an opportunity to lighten the mood slightly, to try and make him smile. And probably embarrass him as much as she could.
"Any question?" she said thoughtfully, thinking on something to ask him. Grinning cheekily up at him, she knew exactly what to say. "When did you realise you love me?"
Now all she could do was watch him squirm, in the same way he had made her when they were with Will earlier.
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